I have to tell you something.
Last weekend, for the first time in my life, I put on a swimsuit and didn't look in the mirror. I just put the damn thing on and went to the pool.
My little guy and I were in Omaha to meet up with my parents and there was no way I was going to pass up the chance to get this little fish in the water.
I didn't give my body or the way it looked in my suit a second thought until my mom started talking about herself. "Don't look at Grandma's fat/flabby/ugly body, Bubby..." she kept saying to my not yet two year old.
I wanted to slap her.
This sort of self talk (and projecting) is what poisons our minds and creates lifelong body image issues. It feeds insecurity and creates a breeding ground for harmful (potentially deadly) behaviors like eating disorders.
I didn't say any of this to my mom, and it's why I'm only posting this on Instagram. She won't see it. I guess that makes me a big chicken, but I'm picking my battles these days.
I'm winning the battle in my own head (most days) and I will NEVER talk about my body or anyone else's this way in front of my son.
What I am going to do is buy a sturdier suit. My boobs kept falling out of this flimsy Target one.