Every “About Erin” I’ve ever written relates to my job in TV. That bio tells you how long I’ve been in the business, where I’ve worked and that I’ve won a bunch of awards, but it really doesn’t tell you anything about who I AM.
So… who am I?
Some days, I feel like I’m still figuring that out.
I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be.
For most of my childhood I was “perfect”. I always made the honor roll, I was in church every week, I played sports and musical instruments, and I performed in show choir and was on the student council.
I was perfect.
Until I wasn’t.
For me “less than perfect” didn’t come in the form of failing a test or hitting the wrong note, or even skipping class or crashing the car. It came when I had to tell my parents I was pregnant at sixteen. I had the baby, and gave him up for adoption. Until recently, that experience and everything related to it was the most significant one of my life. It crushed parts of my heart and spirit in ways that I can’t even articulate. It also made me stronger, and wiser, and more compassionate.
I deliberately picked a college where I knew no one, and more importantly – no one knew me. I loved it, but there were new challenges. I met girls who taught me how to count calories and fat grams and I dated a guy who fanned the flames of my insecurity. I developed an eating disorder and almost had to drop out of school because of it. I binged – trying to fill the hole in my heart, and purged – trying to get rid of the hurt. I was chasing perfection and killing myself in the process.
College is also where I developed a love for group fitness. I became a certified instructor and started teaching classes. It’s been what I do “on the side” for more than twenty years now and in August of 2015 I finally became a Certified Personal Trainer. I love this hobby/career but at times it’s fueled that nagging need to be “perfect”. For years it contributed to my eating disorder.
Life was pretty perfect for me and my husband for several years, until infertility started tearing us apart. I screamed at God, "How can you do this me??!?" I was consumed with grief, regret, anger and envy and I dealt with those emotions with what I call the "Three W's" - Work, Wine and Workouts. I was a mess.
For years Michael and I tried every treatment under the sun. Nothing worked. We tried adopting and found out it was harder and more expensive than we ever dreamed. The one time we thought we were going to be bringing a baby home the situation turned into a disaster. We were burning through time, money and emotional capital at an alarming rate. We were a mess.
We were about ready to give up on the idea of being parents but decided to throw our last bit of money at another round of treatment. It worked. Our son Michael Francis was born in October of 2015.
So…who am I?
I’m a mom, a wife, a daughter, a birth mom, and a friend.
I’m an adoption advocate, and an infertility survivor.
I’m a TV anchor and a fitness instructor and a wannabe author.
I am a woman who is tired of chasing perfect. I’m just trying to be the best me I can be.
If you're interested in doing the best version of you, you're in the right place.